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The Emotional Science Behind a Happy Relationship

How Can a Strong Emotional Intelligence Foster a Happy Relationship

It is a well known fact that couples where both people have high levels of Emotional Intelligence are closer, are more committed to one another, and are more satisfied in their relationships. But what is it about EI that is so helpful? The study authors suggest that being able to manage your own emotions, understand your partners’ emotions and behave in emotionally competent ways, all contribute to a happy love life. They also suggest that you likely model good emotional skills when you’re high in EI, and these skills may rub off on you partner, benefiting you both.

The Emotional Science Behind a Happy Relationship

The Emotional Science Behind a Happy Relationship – Lets see some surprising elements that hold couples together:

Talk More

People in the most successful marriages spend quality time together talking for 5 hours or more in a week. The determining or deciding factor whether a couple feels satisfied with the sex, romance and passion is by 80% the quality of their friendship with each other. We always see good friends getting married eventually and the success rate is quite high.

As you communicate with each other, don’t listen what you want to hear, but listen to what your partner is trying to convey, because it is the same thing you would expect of him/her to do. Notice whether your partner seems stressed, frazzled, sad, frustrated, confused, pleased, glad, joyful, etc. Such emotional attunement will level up your ability to understand him/her better, and respond in ways that lead to happy and long-lasting relationships.

Celebrate Your Partner’s Success

This is a crucial factor in a relationship that strengthens your bond. When your partner comes with a good news, you have to say, “Honey, am really proud of you, tell me more about it. Being enthusiastic for small beautiful things about your partner may bring about big amazing results. This especially holds good for a man when his girl accomplishes something, because the only person she wants to appreciate her more than anybody else would be her husband.

Find out Your Shared Interests

Try to do something together that makes you both happy. Go for an evening walk or dine together in a new restaurant or may be you could start exploring a new place. Happy couples tend to bring out the best in each other.

Managing the Moments of Tension

Healthy arguments are always part of a relationship – marriage or friendship. When it crosses the limit, happy couples tend to bring it to a truce as quick as possible – through a short message saying Sorry or I Love You or “Friends?” Humor is always part of a happy relationship and how it helps you at times like these is beyond imagination! Plus, a little compromise from one’s end is not a crime – when it helps to hold your relationship together.

Unhappy couples tend to do these things when they fight

  • Criticize
  • Show contempt
  • Act defensively
  • Resort to name-calling
  • Tune out

At the end of any conflict, focus on reconnecting and rebuilding emotional bonds strained by the conflict.

10 Things a Husband Should Never Say to His Wife

Choose to  Your Partner

When you build trust in a relationship, you are exercising the best possible , which is one of the four primary areas of emotional intelligence. Always assume the best of the people you care about, or those you work closely with. This is not only beneficial to your view of the other person, it helps you to move closer to the positive, loving person that you truly are at the core of your being. Trust is a choice you make, it’s not something you wait for the other person to earn.

So, if you want to develop deeper connections with friends, colleagues, or your significant other, cultivating your emotional intelligence (EQ) should be one of your top priorities.

Some Really Good Quotes on Emotional Intelligence


“There are certain emotions that will kill your drive; frustration and confusion.  You can change these to a positive force.  Frustration means you are on the verge of a breakthrough.  Confusion can mean you are about to learn something.  Expect the breakthrough and expect to learn.”  — Kathleen Spike


“What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”  — Daniel Goleman


“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” ― Jess C. Scott 


 “The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.”― Rasheed Ogunlaru


 “Forthrightness is the brain’s default response: our neural wiring transmits our every minor mood onto the muscles of our face, making our feelings instantly visible. The display of emotion is automatic and unconscious, and so its suppression demands conscious effort. Being devious about what we feel—trying to hide our fear or anger—demands active effort and rarely succeeds perfectly.22” ― Daniel Goleman


 P.S.

With high EI, there are four main components at play:

  1. Emotional Awareness: You’re consciously aware of your own emotions, and are able to monitor and understand your own feelings. Rather than push your emotions away, you experience and examine them.
  2. Regulating Emotions: You have the ability to manage your emotions, such as being able to calm down quickly or self soothe when you’re upset. Emotions don’t overwhelm you, even the more difficult emotions such as fear, sadness, anxiety or anger.
  3. Harnessing Emotions: You’re able to harness your emotions in a helpful way: to achieve goals, solve problems or generally better your situation.
  4. Highly Perceptive: You’re sensitive to the feelings of others. You’re able to tune into how others are feeling, and are engaged in the process of listening, showing empathy, and attending to other’s emotional states.

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